babysitting

yesterday was bring your child to work day (how did i forget? and why did i not take another day off?). it dawned on me when i saw libby (my boss’ kid) and lisa (my boss) walking across the parking lot in the morning. having been at the beach the past many days, i was not mentally prepared to deal with that situation. i bumped into them in the lobby where lisa proceeded to tell me that libby had just told her, ‘i love dark haired people!’ sweet. slash, what is an appropriate response to that?

there were 3 groups of kids touring the facility. shannon and i got the youngest group first and as they strolled into the large conference room and gathered around the table, libby asked, ‘are you a boy or girl?’ shannon and i made eye contact and decided to ignore. libby’s question started a ripple effect. the boy and girl sitting to my left and right also started to interrogate me. all this while shannon was trying to conduct a focus group. and was trying very hard to keep a straight face.
f00: i’m a girl.
kids: are you a boy or girl?
f00: indeed, i am a girl.
libby: are you sure?
f00: yes, i’m pretty sure.
eric: i think you’re a boy.
f00: well, perhaps it’s the short and dark hair.
eric: hmm, maybe.
eric: do you play football?
f00: no.
libby: she's a korean girl...
f00: actually, i'm a chinese girl.
libby: oh. (point, f00)
some time passed and i thought i had them convinced. but who was i kidding?
libby: are you sure you’re a girl?
f00: yes.
libby: do you ever wear dresses?
f00: hmm, yes. yes, i do. but not all the time.
libby: hmm, yeah. i think if you wore dresses, it would make you look more like a girl.
libby is 6 this year.

reminder: this is the same group that asked if i spoke japanese last year. tragic.

what i really do at work...

*names of the others have been dramatized to protect their reputations.

the plot: at approximately 11am EST, beef, paper snowflake extraordinaire, phones f00, pixy stix ignorant, to discuss the possible outcomes of inhaling the newly launched flavor infusers. highly skeptical, f00 agrees to be supportive of the proposed experiment. f00 arrives at OMX at the designated meeting time and somehow gets roped into partaking. it’s very unclear how this happened.

the preparation: aquatina generously loans clean and sanitized cubicle top. TH provides necessary blade and mirror. LF unfortunately has to answer a phone call (why do people call this the office again?) and misses the rare opportunity to get some potentially damaging evidence. JR (bosslady of beef, aquatina, TH and LF) registers the commotion, shakes her head and then chooses to ignore.

during: first attempt – operator error on the part of f00. second attempt proves much more successful although she wouldn’t necessarily call it ‘success’. beef inhales her entire line like a champion slash princess.

after: symptoms include some eye watering, burning sensation in the nasal passage, sweet taste in the nasal passage and the occasional whiff of green tea. and lemon.

conclusion: the tested delivery method would be generally ill-advised. especially when taking into account the fact that the flavor infusers were developed to be savored (dissolved in cold water) and not to be consumed in such a hurried albeit efficient manner. there were also no indications that the effects of caffeine and EGCG were enhanced. on the plus side, the experiment was a perfect example of the stellar teamwork that is so often underappreciated.

go team.